"...and I don't wear jerseys, I'm 30+. Give me a crisp pair of jeans and a button up."

This line from the timeless Jay-Z track “What More Can I Say” brings up a question that spreads to far more topics than just jerseys. When do you get too old to do certain things? What is the official age when a grown man wearing a jersey becomes unacceptable? Consider this the official age limitation on jerseys and other things….

Jerseys
Nothing looks more absurd than your local business man hopping on the 4 train to the Bronx, while pulling out his crisp #2 Yankees jersey and putting it on over his Brooks Brothers Oxford. This should never be allowed. However, all jerseys are not created equal.

Basketball- - 21. This one is unallowable pretty early, as the amount of skin shown and fitness level needed to correctly wear a basketball jersey has long passed most grown males. If you are old enough to order a tall frosty beer, you are old enough to fold up that old ugly Juwan Howard jersey and throw it in the trash

Hockey/ Football- 28 – The problem with most jerseys of this nature is that they are meant to be worn underneath pads. Unless you are at the gym every morning doing nothing but shoulder shrugs for a few hours each time, chances are you don’t fill this out. Also, a nylon jersey over jeans looks absurd.

Baseball- 40*- This can be worn much longer under the right circumstances. Don’t tuck it into your jeans. Don’t get your name on the back. Don’t wear it over a dress shirt. If you are to wear a baseball jersey, wear it to a weekend game, and nowhere else. It is completely unacceptable as a grown man to wear your old Astros Carlos Beltran jersey around town to shop for groceries.

Backwards Hats- 33
Many girls have told me that a man in his mid-twenties is too old to wear a backwards hat, which is complete garbage. You say immature, I say skin cancer on the neck prevention. The age at which backwards hats no longer are allowed should come at a point when you are at a level of responsibility at work, which would deem a backwards hat ridiculous

Going to your college town for a football game, followed by closing the college bars down after- 27
Have you gone back and done this three years post graduation? It’s getting a bit weird. It is perfectly acceptable to go back for a game, but pack up midway through the 4th quarter, hop in your car, and enjoy sleeping in your own bed instead of passing out outside your old dorm.

Watching MTV Shows (The Hills, Real World/Road Rules Challenge, etc..)- 30
You show me a man who claims to not enjoy watching Derrick fly off the handle on his 5th season on the challenge, and I’ll show you a liar. There is nothing more fulfilling than coming home from a long day at work, only to watch these reality tv veterans get too drunk, sleep with each other, and then get sent home by TJ Lavin at the end of the show. If you have arrived at the point where all of the challenge characters are people who were on the Real World after you were in college, it is time to let it go.