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Starting in high school I all but gave up on the radio as primary source for music. Why did this happen you might be wondering? Well it's pretty simple; Creed happened.
More specifically though, it was thanks to the likes of pandora.com, emusic.com, Last.fm, SPIN/Rolling Stone, the iPod, and pitchfork.com (for when I want to sound particulary snooty) that radio became all but irrelevant. Also, in college I was lucky enough to leverage my years in the high-school band (insert nerd joke here) / marginal skills on the drum set to help start a moderately successful alt-rock band and a pretty successful cover band. Being surrounded by people who were actually passionate about music apparently makes you care about music as well (mob mentality is sometimes a good thing). And when you care about music it becomes easy to spot the frauds... Kat Perry is a fraud.
I am not saying that she's a bad singer (she isn't) or that her beats aren't catchy (I'll dance to them if our wedding band decides to play that sort of thing), it's her lyrics. I'm sure you've all heard the following poetic masterpiece from the song "Hot N Cold" currently playing incessantly on Clear Channel's radio waves:
"You... change your mind, like a girl... changes clothes."By this one can only assume that she's accusing the antagonist in the song of changing their mind only after looking at themselves in the mirror and asking whoever is in earshot whether they look fat, but we'll just call that an educated guess. What I am sure about is that this is perhaps the worst simile ever uttered by someone that isn't named Chad Koeger.
So to help Kat Perry improve her song writing abilities, I strongly urge any and all OSS readers to contribute a phrase in the comments section below. Keep in mind that the original verse rhymes "clothes" with "know", so something like "You... write a song, like a child... writes a joke" would work.
UPDATE: Kristi brought to my attention the fact that Kat Perry also blantantly ripped off Jill Sobule's "I kissed a girl" from 1995.
UPDATE II: It may be worth mentioning here that sarcasm (to steal a line from Matt Chandler) is my love language.
