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Or the Truth About the Economic Stimulus Plan
The wedding ceremony is a very personal and spiritual moment, so I’ll exclude this for the sake of not offending anyone. The wedding reception on the other hand essentially boils down to a large amount of money spent by the bride and groom’s parents to bring a very large group of people together in order to
drink stimulate the young couple’s modest existence through the giving of gifts. If money is spent unwisely or if the wrong date is selected, then despite the best efforts of everyone involved, there is a good chance that the cost of the event will outweigh the amount given to the young couple as the financial burden assumed by the parents failed to translate into an adequate number of guests. The newlyweds will then be forced to spend money on the items they think they need (b/c let’s be honest, no one needs a $100 tea kettle) to get started. Spend too little and you’ll find yourself in a very similar predicament.
The stimulus bill on the other hand is a plan by the government (the parents) to spend a very large sum of money on a smorgasbord of pet projects (infrastructure spending, tax cuts, state government bailouts, green energy initiatives… aka the guest list) in order to benefit the economy (the newlywed couple) during a time of reduced productivity. If money is spent unwisely or if it is not spent quickly enough, then despite the best efforts of those in Washington, the bill will fail to translate into adequate GDP growth (the wedding presents) and the government will be forced to raise taxes or do more harm to the dollar by borrowing more from China to make up for the original cost of the bill. If the bill that is too small it will fail to address any of the problems brought about by the recession, and the end result will be very similar (i.e. bad).
Maybe the government should take a page out of the wedding planning book and start a registry for what it really needs/wants. Then contractors could openly bid for the right to assume the work; theknot.com for government expenditures if you will. I’ll call it www.taxmenot.gov.