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Though I have to believe this is nothing more than an elaborate joke, words still fail (via Beliefnet):
As of 2009, there is no fully conservative translation of the Bible which satisfies the following ten guidelines:
1. Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias
2. Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity
3. Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level...
Now at this point you might be thinking to yourself, as I did, that they are referring to "liberal" in the religious sense of the word rather than the political ideology. Then we read the following:
6. Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning...
And on and on they go. Now I am as fervent a believer as the next guy that we as Christians should actively seek to obtain as thorough an understanding of the text as humanly possible, but reading the Bible as innately supportive of any modern political ideology is idolatry. But maybe that's just me.
More Conservapedia Colbert-bait here.
On a related note, could someone tell me what the emotion is called when an event simultaneously triggers both laughter and sadness?
2 comments:
To the last question, I think "dramedy" is the term en vogue these days...that or "reality tv."
As to the translation, I too hope it's a sick joke...although the "American Patriot's Bible" is available on Christian bookshelves for purchase today (http://www.americanpatriotsbible.com/)...(note the Reagan quote on the home page...). Both of these remind me of the time when, in a church in North Carolina, the speaker reminded us that "God set aside the US for Columbus to discover." We nearly walked out...and probably should have.
Whether it is a sick joke or not, all these translators are doing is following in the footsteps of a man in the early church named Marcion and our very own President (and my distant relative) Thomas Jefferson--who, in their quest to "Whopperize" their Bible (your way, right away), deleted major portions of the Scriptures that were not to their liking. While there may be times we all want to take out parts we don't like (say, Psalm 137), we in the business have a word for such actions---heresy. Although, I agree that "idolatry" is a fair description too. Hard to have one without the other, truth be told. And it would be nearly impossible to have a "free market" bible without being both heretical and idolatrous. I think there's something about not loving both God and Mammon in there somewhere (though that may have been inserted by incipient liberals in the 2nd century)....
Sadly, this is a debate that has been happening since the first copies were written, and it will continue...but that doesn't make this any less sad, or, as you say, laughable.
Wow. I just went to the CBP website, and I am completely appalled. How freaking infuriating!!!! I don't even know what to say, but I'm definitely not laughing. I think sick to my stomach is more like it.
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